Rain (Daily Planet email #942)

There is, in our community, a general consensus that it is raining. Some people, like the unprepared and the non-hatted, experience this directly during their time out-of-doors and report that rain is actually occurring. Even those who walk under umbrellas aver that, though it is dry throughout their general area, there appears to be rain and it is falling. Further still, there are people who trust events as viewed through their windows who confirm the presence of rain-supporting evidence.

Still others, though, question the existence of the rain. “Has anybody ever seen a raindrop form?” they continue. “Where do they come from, anyway? Anybody can see from airplane that there is sunshine, and so look below you — the whole thing is artificially created! You gotta ask yourself, ‘Who benefits?’ Who benefits from keeping the population indoors, who benefits from tracking vehicular traffic through the ruts of mud, and when things are grey and wet and difficult to see, well, just who doesn’t want to be seen?”

They gather and meet, always indoors (?!), wearing t-shirts that say “Have you ever seen the rain?” There they attend seminars about snow (“Whitewashed!”) and High Pressure Systems (“Canadian Air Strike!!) and general sessions on all aspects of Crimatology. There’d be small breakout rooms, the fringe with the fringe on top: “Light: But Can You Really See?” “Food: Treadmill to Nowhere” and “Cold-Blooded Killers — Why Reptilians Promote Climate Change.” Everybody leaves informed, reified, vindicated, and indiscriminately angry.

If they don’t come around and bother me, then they don’t bother me much. Well, they bother me a little. I think it would be nice to have some sort of baseline for fact. Can’t get far without that! Me, I’m a Look Out the Window kind of person. I see that the leaves are shiny and there are ripples on the puddles on the ground, the birds are bathing, and so I believe it is raining. The flowers are looking good, and I’m satisfied.