So that’s your body? The one you’ve been spending all your time in? The one that operates the car? Interesting. So when you get ice cream, those are the legs that carry you to the store? And then you put the ice cream in there, to digest and metabolize? Hmm…

01 Flipper must retrieve a container of rare blood plasma from the ocean floor. 02 A Greek sponge poacher believes that Flipper is his reincarnated brother. 03 When Bud catches two schoolmates trapping lobsters out of season, they threaten Sandy’s run for school presidency to keep him quiet. …

The quonset of earthly delights: The shelves were full and glittery, fairly tremulous with vectors of desire. But once you put a dollar sign on it, the magic was over. The items became infected, ironically devalued. It was inconvenient. So we opened up the stores again, this time with value…

Now you young ‘uns aren’t old enough to remember this, and you can thank your lucky stars for that, but a long time ago there were these insects. Tiny little guys, almost impossibly tiny, to think that they should be so small and yet have legs and a head and…

To lead a better life, I’m leaving on a jet plane. Should I stay or should I go? Freedom, oh freedom. Well, that’s just some people talking. Why in the world would anybody put chains on me? I’m not just one of your little toys. Know it sounds funny but…

Hello! I am <candidate> running against <opponent> for the job of <elected position>. Now, I don’t expect you to learn all about me from a short speech in an ugly room. I can’t imagine you’d want to research my record and learn about all the things I’ve tried to do…

Well, lookee, it’s a Father’s Day 2022 gift ideas list, which is quite different from a wish list, this one’s non-consensual because it’s supposed to be a surprise, but within a reasonable context oh for heaven’s sake, here: iPop, the World’s Fastest 5G Fathering Device, now with GrillMode and Just…

Sometimes, you hear a knock at the door. It sounds like the previous knock, so how do you know it’s somebody different? One explanation: the person who came in before, you say, she’s right here. You like things to be linear like that, these concomitant dualities, here and there, crack…

Everything I know about the Amber Heard / Johnny Depp trial as of 3:05 p.m. 06/01/22 • Johnny Depp is a celebrity, known for 21 Jump Street, Dead Man, and Edward Scissorhands. • Amber Heard is also a celebrity, known for a movie I have probably heard of. • Johnny…